Rant: "I will not speak ill of the dead because you are dead to me"

I will not speak ill of the dead because you are dead to me.

I will honor your past and not look forward to your future.

Sometimes I falter and slip and join in the festivities of hate against you.

But mind you, I can never bring myself to hate you in full.

And I take my words back and recall your goodness too.

I balance out the bad I say with the good you've done.

To be objective, so to speak.

I mean you aren't evil incarnate, after all

Even if it feels like it.

You will always be loved.

Somehow, somewhat

But for sure that will dwindle.

I pray for my friends,

Harder for my foes.

The only way for me to get a grasp of things,

Is to kill you,

In my head, in my heart, my fantasies and my imagination

But let you live in my memory and in the scars,

That toughen me and bind me together as a person.

I try not to speak evil of you but I cannot lie

When the faults are so cracked before all.

But I will always be your advocate somewhat,

A devil's advocate in a sense.

You are zombie to me.

I should not speak ill of the dead.

But I should stab the living death out of you.